Open the dating app of your preference and you’ll see it chock-full of 30+ year olds, still very single and ready to mingle. With career catch-up and social salsa on the cards, marriage is a distant thought, and having kids even further. Social mores are no less demanding though, between your parents asking you when you’re going to give them grandchildren, your own desires to have a child, and your need to do what is right for you… do you need to be bound by the silent but oh-so-loud ticking of your own biological clock?
The answer is no. (Unless you want to be, of course.)
There is so much to see and do and experience, all at your own pace. So, when you do decide to have a child, here are the ways in which you can.
- The all natural
You may not need that much help, after all. Various studies conducted over the years are in disagreement as to when a woman’s fertility actually starts decreasing. Some say it starts at 35, some say 40, some are flummoxed by women like Janet Jackson who had a perfectly healthy pregnancy at the ripe age of 50. A few things can help doing it the biblical way though. Eating healthy, getting your beauty sleep with no LED distractions, and attempting to have a healthy lifestyle is one. Having sex, a LOT of sex, is another. (As Captain Obvious as it may seem, today’s millennials with their overachieving jobs and budding social life might need to be reminded of this. Schedule it, add it to Google Calendar, if you need to!) And tracking your cycle, through observation, through a period-tracker app, or through discussions with your gynecologist, is another. Because sometimes, timing is everything. So while you can pop the bubbly and sprinkle rose petals on the sheets all month, make sure to do it with an agenda when you’re ovulating, for some baby magic after 9 months.
- IVF: Is Very Fantastic
Everyone’s heard of IVF. You combine an egg from the woman with sperm from the man and implant it in the uterus, to increase the chance of a viable pregnancy. This procedure has become so common in India, that you can find more information than you can handle at any gynecologist or hospital. It’s safe, it’s easy, and has close to a 40% success rate.
Another option that is less popular, but catching on, is freezing your eggs and preserving them for a time you’re ready to try IVF, if that time is not right now. However, as you will find out, this procedure is rather expensive, so proceed with care for your purse strings.
- Hum teen, humaara ek
No menage-a-trois insinuations, I promise. Surrogacy!
In the eventuality that you’re not able to conceive despite all attempts, you still have options. Surrogacy is when you combine an egg with a sperm, much like in IVF, but implant it in another woman who will carry the baby to term for you. This procedure has recently been in the news, with celebrities like Shah Rukh Khan, Sunny Leone and Karan Johar having opted for it. There are surrogacy clinics all over the country, so a discussion with your gynecologist as to which one would be right for you would be well worth your while.
- Or you could adopt; the best method of all
You could be young and just married or old and settled, fertile or facing difficulties, but adopting a child and welcoming her/him into your family and making them yours might be one of the most selfless options out there. If you decide that adoption is the way to go, head on over to CARA (Central Adoption Resource Authority), begin the (unfortunately often lengthy) procedure and wait until you are able to adopt a child, who will become an inextricable part of your life.
So tune out that ticking clock, because whenever you decide that the time is right for you to become a mother, you can. Just pick how you want to do it.
Divya Ramesh (Writer)