The first time you have sex is supposed to be a huge milestone. And given that it’s such a massive deal, there is a lot of pressure that first time sex be special, which causes many of us to turn into a bundle of nerves before actually performing the deed. While it’s completely okay to be nervous before first time sex, a little preparation and awareness always comes in handy. So, here’s a quick guidebook to assist you through your first experience of the ACT.
First, understand that there is no right or wrong way of having sex. Sex is an extremely personal experience and therefore, everyone has a different approach and you can too. Your first time is all about discovering and exploring what you like and don’t like. So, don’t be embarrassed. Instead, communicate with your partner about your expectations for a nice and pleasurable experience. Getting familiar with your own anatomy by means of masturbation can give you a clear idea of what gives you pleasure and it will be easier and less awkward for you to enjoy your time when you actually perform the deed. Moreover, it’s quite natural to have some questions and concerns given that it’s your first time. So, talk to your partner and together, you can take all the necessary precautions and set a rhythm that suits both of you.
Second, when it’s your first time, it’s advisable that you take it slow, thereby giving your muscles some time to adjust and relax. One of the reasons people are quite disappointed after their first experience is because of the expectations they have from watching all the porn, which makes them think that sex should feel a particular way. So, you can start by setting realistic expectations.
Third, during your first time, it may be that you may not experience an orgasm, but don’t worry. Sex is something that gets better with time, just like old wine. And you can always improve your skills by practicing and reading about it.
Four, it’s been observed that people find foreplay helps in relaxing the mind and body and can improve your sexual experience. It acts both ways, lubricating the vagina and causing an erection in a man. A few ways to start foreplay is by cuddling, feeling each other up, and even talking about what you want from your partner, all of which helps set the mood.
Fifth, sexual intercourse gets even better with the help of lubricants. Lubes help the act by making penetration less painful. Always remember to use a water-based lubricant, since oil-based lubes can create a hole in your condom. These are easily available at pharmacies or even online.
And last, remember to ALWAYS USE PROTECTION. Yes, even when you are on birth control pills. Condoms aren’t simply used to prevent unwanted pregnancy but also to prevent sexually transmitted diseases or STD.
Another thing that you should be careful about while using condoms is that bacteria from a used condom or semen can move up your urinary tract, thereby causing urinary tract infection. They can also accumulate near your vagina and cause a yeast infection or worse, a sexually transmitted disease (STD).
Therefore, keep in mind that sexual acts are always performed between two consenting adults and until you are not sure that your partner wants it as much as you or vice versa, don’t give in to the urge. A lack of sex education in our country has deprived most of us about the knowledge that we need the most. So, it’s obvious that one may make mistakes along the way. Therefore, it’s best if you keep the pace slow during the first time, and not force anything on your partner. As a consenting adult asking questions like “are you comfortable”, “is this okay with you”, should I keep going”, gives your partner a sense of comfort that you are with them in this process and aren’t simply thinking about your own self. Sex can be intimidating, especially with the expectations that float around it. But remember, the only thing that matters is how comfortable you are and how good it makes you feel.