While activists worry about Walls being built, women have been dealing with shedding walls since times immemorial. And as if having blood gushing down through your body wasn’t enough, Mother Nature decided to top it all up with dear ol’ PMS. It’s hormones, it’s emotions; basically we women are a whole lot of hormotional “that time of the month”. If Voldemort was a phase, he would definitely be the time of menstruation for ‘He, who must not be named’.
Basically 5 days to a week, every month, from 12-50 years of age (approximately), women bear cramps, mood swings, general hatred towards all things moving and constant fear of leaving Rorschach-test-like blots all over. It makes you feel bloated, yet one can find solace only in chocolate; you want to draw a circumference of ‘people-free zone’ around you, yet periods mark the advent of usually elusive horniness. It is a period of several conflicts. That’s why the world needs more women leaders, because they definitely know what entails making hard choices. Basically during menstruation, women’s bodies personify Houses from “Game of Thrones”. Your uterus embodies the Stark family whose blood is spilt periodically every season; your mood is like Robin Arryn’s temper, ready to fling someone out of the moon door; your appetite can match Robert Baratheon and if things really get out of hand, there is dawn of the fury of Khaleesi, Mother of Dragons.
On the bright side, periods can be a yardstick for measuring friendships, too. You know you have found your soul sister and co-watcher of romcoms while downing ice-cream to get through the day without killing someone, when your periods are in sync with your best friend/room-mate. PMS has its share of other benefits as well. It’s a five day eat-all-you-can-feast because your body wants something to feel good about while there is a GoT ‘Red Wedding’ going on in your pants. And if at the end, all of our foul moods are to be blamed on PMS, then might as well make proper use of it. It’s not me screaming at you, just my “raging hormones” happen to be allergic to stupidity. Then there is the cramps. Well, to be honest, there is no bright side to cramps. At least not till an aspirin, a cup or a bucket full of ginger tea, and a hot water bottle perennially at your side.
However, in consolation, it is definitely women who shall survive doomsday considering their patience and endurance. Yes, women menstruate. It’s not all unicorns and flowers. And it is obviously not the best time of the month, no matter how much help we get. Every 30 days, women enter a love-hate relationship with everything from popcorn to partners, yet get through it with a little help from Netflix and fudge. So, no, PMS is not an urban legend or a gender myth. And no, men are still not allowed to blame PMS every time we happen to be pissed at something. It’s not menstruation, it’s life in general, further aggravated by men with bad wigs and orange tan trying to define women’s body choices alongside not enough cute puppy/kitten videos on Youtube. Thank God for doughnuts and cupcakes though for dealing with our “ovary-actions”. Otherwise, we may have to channel our inner peace to prevent a ‘Valar Morghulis’.